Posts by Sail Away

13

Shunning revered?

by new boy in

jw
friends

in 1974 the society had changed there stance on shunning dis-fellowshipping people.

they said you could have limited association with those who were dis-fellowshipped.. what year did they change it back to the old way of shunning people?

.

I agree with Snugglebunny, I was baptized in 1976, and we were allowed to have normal relationships with DF'D family members, just no talking about "spiritual matters". I was pregnant and had my first child in 1981, so the reversal didn't show up on my radar.

Ultimately, family stunning was my tipping point. I left because I wasn't willing to shun my son, and I refused to be a hypocrite like the elders who had contact with their DF'D kids. I was an all-in JW, and they pushed me too far. The mental torment literally broke me mentally and emotionally. I don't know if people ever heal from the trauma the WT inflicts on individuals, families and marriages. I have to believe it's possible, but lately it's hard to put one foot in front of the other.

7

Grounds for divorce and other questions

by new boy in

jw
friends

doing research for my book.

since i no longer have any of of the watchtower bible and truck society publications.

1. was it true (and believe it was) that in the nineteen sixties that even if one of the marriage mates was a homosexual that this was not concerned grounds for divorce?.

Sail Away

Yes, adultery was defined as being between a man and a woman, so homosexuality didn't count as "defiling the marriage bed."

This happened to a friend of mine. The first time her husband cheated with another man, she was "not scripturally free to remarry." The second time ten years later she was, but by that time she felt she was too old to start over, so they still live on separate floors in the same house decades later. He's still DF'D, still bisexual and still a believer tortured by the guilt of his "sins".

True to WT's perverse women-hating rules, she is considered to not be living an "exemplary life" and is not allowed to pioneer, because they are living in the same house as "separated" in name only, not legally separated. Just one of the long list of doctrinal issues I had that lead to my exit.

Oh, and they drive to assemblies together, stay at separate hotels and don't sit together during sessions, but they eat at restaurants together, because they're still married. You can make this stuff up.

17

My Ex CO in Texas was 25 years old.

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

he became co when he was 23. i was wondering is he the youngest co ever?

his name is jonathan smith.

he is from south dakota.

Sail Away

In 2011 my last was C.O. was under 30 years old (my son's age at the time). What a joke! He was DF'd as a teen, graduated from M.I.T., had a return to God moment, got reinstated and quickly climbed the ranks.

I served lunch to him, his wife and a bunch of pioneers, but didn't go to any of the meetings during his visit. That was fun! First time I ever got a thank you note directly from a C.O. instead of his wife-- strong encouragement to attend the meetings next time so we could get to know each other. Haha!

Funny thing happened. Mr. Sail Away had invited a couple out for dinner after sailing the night before this lunch. I explained I couldn't go, because I had to make lunch for a travelling minister the next day. Turns out she was an ex-JW! The husband volunteered to grill the chicken for me, and then we all went out to dinner. So not only did I not attend the meetings, I didn't make the lunch either. True story.

22

How Often Do You Come Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i regularly check in to see what's happening but i'm not here like i used to be.. are you here every day?

are you here as much as before?.

Sail Away

I used to post daily on the old YUKU forum, and then visited daily here when they went to read only, but didn't post as much. Now six years out, I visit here sporadically, mostly when my PTSD is triggered by something JW related or when I am struggling with remnants of JW programming in myself or Mr. Sail Away. I try to stick around a bit to offer support in return.

15

Up date on what I decided to do about back surgery

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

it has been 4 1/2 weeks since i had back surgery.

i had l4and l5 fused, disk was suck out replaced with a artificial disk and a bracket or what they called a cage with 4 screws holding it all together.

i went in on a tuesday and was out of the hospital the next day.

Sail Away

Two dogs-- fantastic! Yup, my little fluffernutter is a ball of love and curls. She so knows when I need her care. Did you train Morgan yourself? I originally trained Emma as a therapy dog, so I felt safe when visiting psycho mom at the nursing home. My therapist recommended that I have her assessed to see if she could be further trained to be a SD. It only took about four months of daily work for her to pass a public access test.

15

Up date on what I decided to do about back surgery

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

it has been 4 1/2 weeks since i had back surgery.

i had l4and l5 fused, disk was suck out replaced with a artificial disk and a bracket or what they called a cage with 4 screws holding it all together.

i went in on a tuesday and was out of the hospital the next day.

Sail Away

Still Totally ADD, I'm so happy to hear you have a service dog! My little girl (photo stage left) is my service dog. She is a Shi Tzu Poodle mix. Emma really helps me on those days when I would otherwise hide at home. What breed of dog do you have?

11

Jehovah (As Taught By JWs) Offers A Bum Deal

by pale.emperor in

i thought this during my wake up.

if you think about it, jehovahs promise for the faithful is actually a bum deal.

some would even say a con.

Sail Away

That "probably you may be concealed in the day of Jehovah's anger" caveat and the re-testing after the 1000 year reign ticked me off even when I was a believer. Once I walked away, I figured if god wanted to punish me after 42 years of "faithful service", so be it. I wouldn't want to live forever with a god like that anyway.

15

Up date on what I decided to do about back surgery

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

it has been 4 1/2 weeks since i had back surgery.

i had l4and l5 fused, disk was suck out replaced with a artificial disk and a bracket or what they called a cage with 4 screws holding it all together.

i went in on a tuesday and was out of the hospital the next day.

Sail Away

Still Totally ADD,

Glad to hear you are recovering nicely and that your wife takes such good care of you!

Opioid addiction is so incideous and dangerous. My sister is enslaved by them, and they don't work anymore now that she has developed a tolerance. She was up to 140 pills a month last I knew. Clearly an unethical doctor.

I started taking medical marijuana for PTSD, but still haven't found the right balance to stay focused for work and be able to drive safely for daytime use. It works wonders for sleep though-- 7-8 hours with no flashbacks or nightmares.

Take care,

Diane

14

Do you have a comfort dog?

by compound complex in

jw
friends

greetings, dog owners and lovers:.

since i wrote "i walk dogs" a few days ago, i started caring for a new little fellow.

feisty and noisy, bouncing off the walls.

Sail Away

Coco, I absolutely have a comfort dog! I got Emma when she was five months old and trained her myself. She is nine now and is my constant companion. I traned her as a therapy dog, so that i could take her to the nursing home to visit my mom with me. It felt safer. Last year my therapist suggested I look into having her trained to be my service dog to help with my PTSD. We are truly bonded, and she is so smart, so it only took about four months working with a trainer to work on public access skills. Now I can take her anywhere the public is allowed except an operating room. She is a tremendous support and a real snuggle bunny.

If you really want a laugh, Google "Sad Cat Diary" and Sad Dog Diary".

Diane

14

Not A Day Goes By Without Me Thinking About Watchtower

by pale.emperor in

although i consider myself completely "cured" from watchtower brainwashing, guilt tripping and propaganda, i realised today that there's not a day that goes by without me thinking of the cult we left.

i think of my former family and what i'd like to say to them, what i'd try to explain and how i'd say it without them switching the "ignore" button and running away.. today on my instagram account my little step-brother "liked" a picture i posted.

i didn't even know he was still on my friends list.

Sail Away

pale.emperor, I so very sorry that you are hurting. There are a lot of things, a lot of loss we have to grieve when we leave this cult-- the loss of family, lost years, lost dreams and so much more. There is so much we can never get back, but the freedom is worth it. For me it's not loss of family, because my immediate family is out, but I do think of my JW life nearly every day, over six years out. As a child I was indoctrinated to believe that, as a woman, I had no voice, no role other than a subservient one. I could do nothing of value other than serve god in the way prescribed by a corporation. It is still a struggle. I hope someday it gets easier for all of us.

A big hug to you,

Diane